Ab yeh pyar na hoga ...

Ab yeh pyar na hoga phir hum se.. Story by: Sumeet Sharma

Yeh kahani hai mohabbat ki jiska anjaam sirf intezaar ban kar reh gaya kehte hain zindagi mein sabko ek baar pyar zaroor milta hai. Kuch log use zindagi bana lete hain aur kuch is dard ke saath jeete hain ki jise chaha use paane ki kabhi umeed bhi nahin kar sake. Main 'deep' deep khurana. Meri zindagi mein mera pehla pyar adhoora reh gaya. Aaj bhi jab sochta hoon to uska muskurata hua chehra ankhon ke aage aa jaata hai. 25 saal gujar gaye par jo zakhm is dil ne khaya tha use bharne se waqt ne bhi inkaar kar diya. 25 saal pehle ki baat hai mba ke aakhri saal mein padh raha tha main. Aakhri saal ka pehla din tha jab maine use pehli baar dekha. Na jaane kya hua aankhen use dekhti hi reh gayeen. Jab hosh aaya to use apne paas baitha paya.yeh hamari pehli mulaqat thi. Meri pehli mulaqat thi 'akash malhotra' se.

Kuch hi dinon mein hamari dosti gehri ho gayee. Mujhe achha lagta tha uska saath, uski har baat, uski muskaan.pata nahin kyon par uske saath waqt kaise beet jaata tha ehsaas hi nahin hota tha. Waqt ke saath hum donon best friends ban gaye. Humne faisla kiya ki apne akhri saal ka project hum saath karenge. Aur phir ek din woh college nahin aaya. Uske ghar baar baar phone kiya par koi jawaab nahin mila. Mujhe laga ki shaayad kuch dinon ke liye sheher se bahar jaan padha ho. Ek hafta beet gaya maine use dekha nahin. Mujhe kuch bhi achha nahin lagta tha. Maine uske ghar jaane ka faisla kiya. Wahan pahuncha to pata chala woh beemaar tha use jaundice ho gaya tha,aur phone bhi kharaab tha. Pata nahin kyon use is tarah bimaar dekh kar mera mann kar raha tha ki main use zor se gale laga loon.

Kuch der saath baithne ke baad jab main jaane laga to usne mera haath thaam liya. Yun to usne mujhe pehle bhi kayee baar chhua tha par us din mera poora jism kaanp gaya. Ab main roz college ke notes le kar uske ghar jaane laga. Uski family is liye khush thi ki main apni dosti nibha raha tha. Aur pata nahin kyun par uske saath bitaya hua har lamha mujhe sakoon deta tha. Main apne aap mein kisi uljhan mein fansa hua tha. Pata nahin din b din mujhe kya ho raha tha; magar phir ek din sab kuch saaf ho gaya. Takdeer ne ek aisa tamacha maara ki ankhon ke aage chhaayee hui dhund saaf ho gayee. Jab ek din main uske ghar pahuncha, main uske kamre mein daakhil hua ki maine ek ladki ko uske gale lagte hue dekha.

Ek pal ke liye mujhe bilkul accha nahin laga . Jee kar raha tha ki use kheench kar alag kar doon akash se. Apne jazbaaton ko apni ankhon ke aage jalte hue dekha maine.usne mujhe us ladki se milwaya 'roshni ' roshni sinha. Akash ki girl friend jise woh mujhse bhi pehle se jaanta tha. Thodi der baithne ke baad mein wahan se bahaana bana kar aa gaya. Dil ka har dard aansoon ban kar behne laga. Zindagi mein pehli baar mujhe ehsaas hua ki mohabbat kya hoti hai. Yeh pata chal ki jise mein dosti ka naam de raha tha us jazbaat ka wajood bilkul hi alag tha. Pehli baar aisa laga ki maine akash ko kho diya. Aur us se bhi bada dard is baat ka hua ki agar main akash ko apne jazbaaton ke bare mein bata bhi doon to uski dosti bhi kho baithoonga.

Main poori raat jagta raha . Aansoo kab tham gaye pata hi nahin chala. Maine akash ke ghar jaana chhod diya. Usne muhjhe kayee baar phone kiya par maine sirf khuch hi baar baat ki. Aur jab bhi baat karta tha koi bahaana bana jaldi khatam kar deta tha. Pata nahin kyun par ab akash ke khyaal se bhi darr lagta tha. Lagta tha jaise mera pyar is duniya mein akash ko sharmindagi ke alava kuch nahin de sakta tha. Mere jazbaat, meri mohabbat darr gayee thi ki haqeeqat agar saamne aa gayee to takleef ke alava kuch nahin de paygee. Mujhe bhi aur un tamam logon ko jo mere aur akash ki zindagi ke saath jude hue hain. Kuch mahinon ke pyar ke khaatir main itne logon ko takleef kaise deta.

Aksh ne college aana shuru kar diya aur meri pareshani aur badh gayee. Ab har waqt main use apne saamne dekhta tha aur phir use nazarandaaaz karne ki nakaam koshish karta tha. Maine apne aap ko kitabon mein dubo diya. Par kuch fark nahin pada. Mere jazbaat beqabu ho rahe the. Ab akash bhi samajh chuka tha ki main use ignore kar raha hoon par is baat se anjaan tha ki us se aisi kaunsi galti ho gayee ki uska sabse accha dost ab us ke saath waqt nahin guzarna chahta.

Aur phir ek din jab main canteen mein baitha tha to maine saamne roshni ko paaya.woh mujh se poochhne aayee thee ki aakhir mujhe kya ho gaya hai. Woh mujhe jaanti to nahin thi par uski baaton ne mujhe pal mein apna bana liya. Tab samajh aaya ki akash roshni se itna pyaar kyun karta tha. Roshni hamare college ki nahin thi woh sirf yeh jaan ne aayee thee ki aakhir mere aur akash ke beech kya hua. Usne mujhe batay ki aklash bahut badal gaya hai.woh pehle bhi meri baatein kiya karta tha par ab uski baaton mein ek ajeeb sa gussa hai. Woh samajh nahin paa raha ki aakhir sab kuch kaise badal gaya.

Mere saath ke bina uska svbhaav hi badal gaya. Main sunta raha aur sochta raha ki kaash main akash ko gale laga sakta use bata sakta ki maine kis tarah toot kar chaaha hai use. Kitni mohabbat hia mujhe magar main kuch nahin keh saka meri khamoshi roshni ko bhi koi jawab nahin de payee aur woh chali gayee. Main sirf akash ke khyaalon ke saath akela reh gaya par meri tanhayee mujhe itna bhi majboor nahin kar paayee ki main akash ko haqeeqat se ru ba ru kara sakoon.

Do mahine beet gaye college ki trip jaane wali thi. Mumbai ke baahar jaane ke liye sabhi ne apna naam likhwaya siwaye akash ke. Maine faisla kiya ki main zaroor jaaoonga. Akash se jitna door rahoonga haalat sudharne ki utni hi gunjaish hogi. College ki trip mahabaleshwar pahunch gayee. Mumbai se kuch ghante door is hill station ka mahaul bilkul alag tha. Raat ke nau baje pahunche aur thakaan ki wajah se khaana kha kar sab log apne apne kamron mein chale gaye is umeed mein ki kal ke din masti ke alava kuch nahin hoga. Kal ka intezaar mujhe bhi bahut besabri se tha. Pata nahin kyun din ko to dard bardaasht ho jaata tha par raat ka andhera mere dil ke har ghaav ko nanga kar deta tha.

Par mujhe kya pata tha ki jis raat ke khatam hone ki main dua maang raha tha woh raat ek naya hi jaal bichha rahi hai. Kamre mein pahunchne par mujhe pata chal ki mera room mate aur koi nahin balki akash hai. Usne aakhri waqt par irada badal diya aur request kar ke mera hi kamr maanga. Mujhe samajh nahin aa raha tha ki yeh kis mod par laa ke mujhe khada kar diya zindagi ne. Akash ne thaan lee thee ki aaj woh sab kuch jaan kar hi rahega. Usne mujhse kayee sawaal kiye aur phir jab mere haathon ko pakadkar usne mujhe dekha to itne dinon ka mera sabar toot gaya. Us ek lamhe mein main kamzor ho gaya aur woh bhi... Usne mujhe gale se laga liya aur mujhe laga ki ab agar meri jaan bhi9 chali jaaye to mujhe koi shikwa nahin.

Pata nahin kab jazbaaton ka woh toofan humein saath uda ke le gaya. Saari raat us kamre mein meri mohabbat ne woh roop liya jo mohabbat ka sabse khoobsoorat roop hot hai. Uske honthon se bane nishaan mere shareer par jaise mujh se kehte ho ki aaj mohabbat poori ho gayee magar uska anjaam nahin. Woh raat meri zindagi ki sabse haseen raat thi. Aaj bhi jab sochta hoon to uske jism ko apne jism se lipta hua paata hoon. Subha hui main kamre ki balcony mein khada hua tha. Woh kab utha mujhe pata nahin. Jab maine use mudkar dekha to woh apne jism ko dhak raha tha. Hum mein se kisi ko nahin pata nahin tha ki kya kaha jaaye. Woh khamosh raha aur wahan se chal gaya. Agle bees din humne koi baat nahin ki.

Jo khamoshi mujhe ghutan deti thi ab main usi khamoshi ko uski ankhon mein dekh sakta tha. Par kuch kehne ki himmat mujh mein aaj bhi nahin thi kyunki mujhe aaj bhi is baat ka yakeen nahin tha ki jo kuch bhi hua kya woh sirf meri khwahish thi ya kaheen na kahin us mein uski tamnna bhi thi. Hum donon ke ghar waalon mein kisi ko shak nahin tha ki hamari zndagi mein kuch hua hai ya nahin kyunki apni feelings ko unke aage zaahir karne ki galti hum mein se koi bhi nahin kar sakta tha. Un logon ke liye to sab kuch pehle ke jais ahi tha. Ek din mere sabhi ghar wale kuch dinon ke liye bahar gaye the. Akash ne mujhe phone kar ke kaha ki woh mujhse milna chahta hai. Woh mere ghar aaya. Main soch raha tha aur us se bhi zyada darr raha tha ki aaj us raat hui baat ka anjaam hoga. Kuch der hum donon khamosh rahe aur phir woh uthkar mere paas aaya aur mere haathon ko thaam kar usne kaha ki woh mujhe chahne laga hai.

Use nahin pata ki yeh sab sahi tha ya galat par use pata hai ki use mera sath chahiye. Use pyaar hai mujhse. Hum dono lipatkar rone lage. Ek lambe arse ke baad aaj hum log usi tarah mile jis tarah main milna chahta tha. Apne is pyar ko ek poora roop dene ke liye woh mujhe mere kamre tak le gaya. Ek baar phir hum ek hi bistar par the par is baar ek alag hi khushi thi . Ek alg hi ehsaas tha. Ab ki baar raat nahin hamara jism din ke ujale mein mile. Uske jism ke har ang ki khushboo ko maine apni saanson mein basa liya.

Kareeb teen ghante baad jab hum bistar mein ek doosre se lipte hue the ki phone baja. Phone par roshni thi. Pehle to mujhe hairani hui ki use mera number kahan se mila par is se pehle ki main kuch poochhta usne akash ko phone dene ko kaha. Mera dil ghabrane laga. Aksh ne baat nahin ki sirf roshni ki baat suni aur bheegi hui ankhon se merei taraf dekha. Main poochhta raha aur woh khamoshi se apne kapde pehen kar whan se chal gaya. Mujhe samajh nahin aa raha tha ki aakhir aisa kya ho gaya ki akash ki palkein bheeg gayeen. Kareeb ek hafte tak hum mein koi baat nahin hui aur phir ek din akash mere darwaze par khada hua tha apne papa aur ma ke saath. Woh mere ma papa se milna chahte the.

Akash ne meri taraf dekha bhi nahin. Sab log hall mein baithe hue the. Akash ke papa ne mere papa ke haathon mein ek envelope diya aur papa ne woh mujhe thama diya. Jab maine use khol kar dekha to ek damini si giri mujhpar. Woh akash aur roshni ki shaadi ka card tha.mera dil toot gaya. Aksh ke pyar ke izhaar se jitne armman jage the sabhi choor choor ho gaye. Mujhe pata tha humara milan nahin ho sakta tha bas is baat ka ehsaas nahin tha ki meri mohabbat is tarah gumnaami se mita dega akash. Sab ke saamne mujhe khushi ka naatak karna pada .jab woh log jaane lage to akash mujhse milne mere kamre mein aaya. Usne mujhe bataya ki roshni pregnant thi . Us din phone par roshni ne use yehi bataya tha. Main toot gaya. Bas rota raha. Akash mud kar chala gaya.

College to khatam ho hi chuka tha. Maine bahut koshish kar ke america mein ek naukri dhoond li aur akash ko bina bataye uski shaadi se pehle hi wahan se chala gaya. Kuch dinon baad ek car accident mein mera saara parivaar mujhe chhod kar chala gaya. Main bilkul akela reh gaya akash ki yaadon ke saath. Maine mumbai ke saath saare rishtey khatam kar diye aur hamesha ke liye new york mein bas gaya. Shaadi ka to sawaal hi nahin tha. Par akash ki jagah bhi main kisi ko nahin de paaya.

18 saal baad ek din maine akash ko roshni aur uske bete ke saath new york mein dekha. Teenon bahut khush lag rahe the . Shaayad chhutiyan anane aaye the. Unhe dekhkar lag raha tha ki unki ek alag hi duniya hai.aur sach unki ek alag hi duniya hai . Ek parivaar hai unki duniya mein har khushi. Main akash ke chehre ko padh sakta hoon. Jaanta hoon woh bahut khush hai apni duniya mein jahan sirf roshni hai tamas nahin. Uski khushiyon mein deep ki koi jagah nahin hai.

Aur us ke gham ka hissa main nahin ban na chahta. Manta hoon aaj bhi akash ko chahta hoon main par akash ki duniya mein roshni bharne ke liye deep ko to jalna hi padhta hai na. Aaj akash nahin to kya hua. Uski yaadon ko mujhse koi alag nahin kar sakta. Main khush hoon is ehsaas ke saath ki akash khush hai. Woh mujhe bhula chuka hai. Agar main uski khushiyon mein shamil nahinn to kam se kam woh mujhe yaad kar ke rota bhi nahin. Aakhir kaun kehta hai ki saath rehne se hi mohabbat kaamyaab hoti hai. Main kehta hoon meri judaai ne jo kaamyaabi paayee woh aaj tak kisi ke milan ne bhi nahin payee.